When I Grow Up...

Roger Craig. Aside from having two first names, this former all-pro NFL running back sports a dubious distinction that only a proud few can cram onto their resumes - for several months in the late 80's he was my number one hero...bar none. Nevermind that I was small, slow, untalented, six or seven years old...and white - I was going to be the next Roger Craig...and there was nobody who could tell me otherwise. While the Niners weren't necessarily my team, they were the team at the time and it seemed that everywhere you turned you caught a glimpse of the high stepping running back who made a home 5 yards behind Joe Montana. While Montana was the star, it was to Craig that I deferred when I stumbled upon that inevitable question that every seven year old faces after someone finds out the important stuff like how old they are and what grade they are in...what the hell was I going to be when I grew up?

Unfortunately, in between the Pro Bowls and Super Bowl rings, Roger's glamour eventually faded in my eyes. It could have been at the time when I was contemplating a career change, as the next Ultimate Warrior, or perhaps it was just jarred from my subconscious during an aggressive turn on the seesaws. Regardless - somewhere amongst the endless days of milk cartons and single file lines, Roger became an afterthought and I moved on to bigger and better. But didn't we all? Aren't we supposed to?

While the characters can change from year to year and child to child, every kid at some point has (or at least deserves to have) someone or something that they want to be when they grow up. Perhaps you were the young astronaut in training, the fashion designer, or the police officer. Perhaps, like me, your dreams of joining the professional wrestling circuit were delayed along with your continually promised growth spurt. In any event, the aspirations of a child provide the opportunity for creativity, development of tangible goals, and conversation starters for unimaginative adults. While somewhere in our subconscious we likely all knew that we wouldn't be the first President of Mars or the next He-Man, the audacity of those goals allowed room for significant achievement should we fall short.

Roger Craig high stepped back into my head last week - somewhere between my brown bagged lunch and a daily check of the calender for the day that would follow. Leaning back slowly in my pleather chair and staring at the unwavering excitement of "Thursday", the feelings of self doubt began to creep in. What is Roger doing today? Have I really gotten that far off track? How long will it be until seven year old me saunters through that door, whispers softly to beckon me closer, then violently knees me in the groin? I was going to be an NFL star for crying out loud - what the hell happened?

What happened indeed. Rare are the few who live out each day fulfilling what has been their lifelong dream of being a certified public accountant...or a human resource manager. For the rest of us, the life we lead is a far cry from the life we once dreamed. It's not lesser, or even lower...it's just...different. So for those of us who have reached that realization, where do we go next? When we stop idolizing Roger Craig and start idolizing Greg from accounting, what are we to expect of ourselves? Sure, perspectives change and lifetime goals are adjusted - a house on the beach might become a two year old with a good car seat and that's certainly as it should be. But does that mean we should stop dreaming about what could be? I'll never be Roger Craig, but isn't it important that I continue to test myself by setting goals that I might never achieve? Are you really ready to say you're all grown up?

As Roger Craig galloped from my mind's eye once again, I returned my thoughts to "Thursday". While the realities of life would not be forgotten, the vague plan of a future career began to formulate - cruise ship captain. I would sail to only the finest destinations with the pleasantest of passengers - and I'd have a kick ass hat to boot. There's a chance this career change may never materialize, but the idea is still there and I won't act quickly to banish it. Besides, nobody ever asks me how old I am anymore...