The Avett Brothers - Good Guys Finish First

“So you want to be in love like the movies/ But in the movies they’re not in love at all/ And with a twinkle in their eyes (ohh ahh ohh)/ They’re just saying their lines/ And so we can’t be in love like the movies.” This song was my first introduction to the Avett Brothers. A friend was visiting me in New Zealand and while road tripping around the South Island she played me this comical and catchy number. We were driving through Marlborough’s vineyards - drinking Sauvignon Blanc, eating olives and conspicuously dancing both in, out and on top the car. Needless to say, I became an instant fan after only hearing one song (admittedly, this new found love might have been attributed to the alcohol). But just as soon as I was introduced to the music, my friend and her iPod returned to the states and it was back to Neil Finn and Flying Nun bands for me.

Fortunately, upon returning home I was reunited with the band on coincidently, another road trip. I had two full weeks of cross-country driving to become versed in the Avett Brothers music and as each day passed my fondness for the band grew. From their early albums (Live at the Double Door and A Carolina Jubilee) to the more recent (Four Thieves Gone: the Robbinsville Sessions), the songs had staying (and driving) power. I was quite impressed that three men could make such intoxicating music with simply a standup bass, acoustic guitar, harmonica and banjo. Expressed in the Avett Brothers music are the sentiments and emotions we all feel but have difficulty articulating. It is the saccharine combination of words and instrumentation that makes the music so convincing. As many fans will attest, this North Carolina band is not to be categorized. Their mix of bluegrass, old-time, honky-tonk, Americana, folk and rock make for one hell of a musical cocktail!

I’ve heard nothing but praise about their live shows and recently had a chance to witness not one, but two performances in one week. The first took place in Philadelphia at the Trocadero and the second at the Chameleon Club in Lancaster. Since I only made it for half of the Philly show I can’t elaborate too much. But I distinctly recall a single Air Jordan sneaker being passed among the crowd. Now that’s punk rock! I entered the venue on what I think was the song “Pretty Girl from Chile.” I had to do a double take as I thought maybe I walked in on a hardcore show. The guys were electrically plugged in flailing erratically on the guitars and drums. I was unaware that the Avett Brothers even owned electric guitars and for a second it felt like I was witnessing Bob Dylan at Newport…minus all the disdain. The crowd loved the new amplified sound and the energy was contagious. It was a great, if brief, introduction for me.

After the foretaste, I was pleasantly surprised (and a little shocked) to learn they would be playing Lancaster. It takes an adventurous band to play an out-of-session college town on a Sunday night. Thanks to a friend (cheers - Caroline and Dane), my buddy, Janelle, and I were added to the guest list. Upon arrival I was skeptical that a significant number of people would even show. I think the last band I saw there was Boy Sets Fire back in 2002 and even though Lancaster has an affinity for hard-core music I recall the turnout to be most disappointing. But the opener, Jersey-born Nicole Atkins and her band, the Sea, helped draw a semi-local audience. While schmoozing, I learned that the tri-state crowd was well represented with hippies, punks, farmers and professionals of all ages. I knew I’d enjoy Nicole the second she sauntered on stage. Her onyx black baby doll dress was PJ Harvey meets Joanie Mitchell, accented with hot pink tights and knee high boots. Her music oscillates from catchy pop ditties to depressing pensive ballads – a definite treat for all the manics in the crowd.

Then the Avett Brothers took the stage. They were dressed in their characteristic suits, ties and sweaters. The first thing I noticed was Seth had shaved his chest length Civil War beard, making him appear a few years younger. They opened with the song “The Weight of Lies” from their newly released album Emotionalism. As a transient individual the lyrics of this song really strike a chord with me: “The weight of lies will bring you down/ And follow you to every town/ ‘Cause nothing happens here that doesn’t happen there/ So when you run make sure you run/ To something and not away from/ ‘Cause lies don’t need an airplane to chase you down.” The song has a gentle folksy feel complete with fluent guitar and tender humming. The night continued with classics intermittent with new songs. Janelle was excited to hear her old favorites: "Distraction #74, Traveling Song, and When I Drink" and I was eager to experience their latest material. Janelle informs me the addition of Joe Kwon on cello is fairly new direction for the band. Since the cello is one of my favorite instruments (next to the mandolin – which Scott, I think would nicely add to your repertoire), I was immediately excited to see Joe take the stage. It really complimented "If It’s the Beaches," making it an even more moving number. The combination of the cello and Nicole Atkin’s voice on "Swept Away" also proved a success.

As the title would suggest, the new songs are full of vulnerability, passion, and conviction. The crowd was treated to "Go To Sleep, Will You Return?" and "Paranoia in Bb;" as well as Scott tearing up the drums on "Die Die Die." I was a little disappointed in the absence of the allegorical "The Ballad of Love and Hate," but they had enough quality material that I quickly forgot. However, don’t let their boyish charm and gracious demeanor fool you. These boys can rock with the best of them! You know it’s an Avett Brothers show when throughout the set Scott breaks half dozen banjo strings and Seth ends up on his knees and back while shredding it up on the guitar. Add a little head sweat wiping and Elvis-esque gyrating and you’ve got a show to remember. With the exception of the rare NAPs (Non-Active Participants), the crowd was fully immersed in the music. I especially enjoyed watching a few couples contra dance in the middle of the floor.

If it’s not obvious enough, I’ve developed a real penchant for the Avett Brothers. They are the kind of charming country boys the girls want to date and the guys want to be. The music simply speaks for itself. The brothers produce rich harmonies and Bob strums the bass like it’s nobody’s business. They are the quintessential “good guys finish first” story. They’ve put out an album every year for the past six years with each one expanding on the talents of its predecessor. With an exhausting touring schedule, they continue to produce high energy shows without getting piss-ass drunk and always stick around to acknowledge their fans. Heck, their t-shirts are even American Apparel! Therefore, I strongly urge you to immediately start listening to their music and attend a show. They will be on tour all summer (www.theavettbrothers.com) and chances are they will be returning to a stage near you. But be sure to bring your dancing feet because once this machine gets rolling it is full speed ahead until the very end.

Lucinda Williams shows how to "Get Right with God"

If you simply saw photos and listened to her albums, you’d get the sense that Lucinda Williams is a tough, edgy, “kick ass now - take names later” sort of chick. After all, she usually emits the rogue cowgirl look - donning t-shirts, black jeans, boots, dyed hair, heavy eyeshadow and tattoos. But watch and listen to her in person, and you’ll gain a different perspective: a cute, sensitive, shy songwriter who just wants to deliver a good time to her audience. Earlier this week, I was fortunate enough to witness the later at the Forum in Harrisburg.

My experience with this venue has been limited to a few performances by the Harrisburg Symphony Orchestra and one hilarious visit by NPR's Michael Feldman, so I wasn’t sure what to expect from a rock concert. With over 1700 seats, this rotunda is wider than most theaters and offers comfortable and surprisingly spacious seating. The building is most noted for its intricately painted ceiling. It is no Sistine Chapel, but the depictions of the night sky, complete with constellations and incandescent stars, make for a beautiful room. This sold out venue offered an intimate and supportive environment for our beloved Lucinda Williams.

My friend and I started the evening at a downtown Spanish tapas and wine bar (If you are ever in Harrisburg I strongly suggest visiting Suba and Manga Qui on North Street. The gourmet Mediterranean cuisine is delectable and the atmosphere is warm and welcoming). We fully intended to catch Alejandro Escovedo as the opening act, but instead ordered a generously-poured pitcher of homemade Sangria and began talking. Since we hadn’t seen each other in a while, neither of us wears a watch, and daylight savings came early this year, all concept of time was lost! By the time we walked to the theater, people were congregating outside, smoking cigarettes and energetically discussing Escovedo’s virtuoso guitar playing. We missed him by 45 minutes. Next time, only order Sangria by the glass. Lesson learned.

Lucinda Williams is a veteran in the music industry. She’s been performing for over thirty years and released her first album, Ramblin’, of blues covers in 1978. Her music is an impressive combination of blues, country, folk and rock instrumentation accompanied by well constructed song writing. Time Magazine even named her “America’s Best Songwriter” in 2002, four years after her best selling Car Wheels on a Gravel Road was released. Her resume includes collaborations with Willie Nelson, Emmylou Harris, Mary Chapin Carpenter, Roseanne Cash, Tom Petty, and Elvis Costello.

With our fourth row center seats, I had a great view of Lucinda and her three-deep backing band. The show started off on a rocky note when a coughing fit paralyzed her mid-way thru one of my favorites, “Drunken Angel.” After chugging some cough syrup (or more likely whiskey) she was back on track…only to be derailed at the start of the next song. She abruptly pulled the brakes on “Car Wheels on a Gravel Road” to request adjustments be made on her microphone. Both of these stops, in addition to the unbalanced levels on the snare drum resulting in a distracting echo, did not bode well for the evening. Then, unleashing her southern charm, coy smile, and sweet Louisiana twang, she laughed it off with a self-deprecating remark, “I can see the reviews now.” The crowd chuckled and immediately all was forgiven.

I must admit I tend to have a love/hate relationship with Lucinda Williams’ voice. It is recognizable by its deep alto, husky rasp, and Southern drawl. In most cases, it compliments her emotionally complex songs. I swear I can actually hear her heart breaking when she sings “Those Three Days.” But sometimes it grates on me. She’s sort of the female equivalent to Bob Dylan and Tom Waits. You love the words, but on occasion, just can’t get past the growling delivery. However, tonight everything about her appeared equalized. When seeing her live you begin to appreciate her hardened exterior and inner vulnerability. At this show she sported a straw cowboy hat and hid her tattoos. She accessorized with a songbook the size of a medical dictionary. This I found a bit odd. I’ve never seen a performer of her caliber carry a songbook this massive! I think it displays her painfully shy side and acts as a buffer she can “hide behind” while on stage. My friend frankly suggested otherwise, “She’s lived a hard life. Her memory just isn’t what it used to be.” Whatever the reason, she referenced it a lot.

Even though Lucinda is touring to support her recently released album, West, she played a diverse collection from all of her records. She has a reputation of making her own rules, and while many artists with a new album would only play songs off that, she played what she wanted to. She also encouraged the crowd to holler out requests, which they eagerly did. I was very pleased with her play list. On one of my personal favorites “Righteously” (World Without Tears) she sultrily sings “You don’t have to prove your manhood to me constantly. I know you’re the man can’t you see. I love you righteously.” From Essence (Essence) she compares her relationship to that of heroin addiction. “Baby, sweet baby, you’re my drug. Come on and let me taste your stuff.” And from “Come On” off her latest is a humorous anthem many of the women could appreciate. “All you do is talk the talk. You can’t even back it up with your walk. You can’t light my fire so Fuck Off! You didn’t even make me COME ON!” she passionately bellows.

The Song of the Night Award though, goes to “Get Right with God” (Essence). What an explosive experience! Escovedo came out to assist on this tale of a woman’s quest to find God. “I would risk the serpents bite. I would dance around with seven. I would kiss the diamondback. If I knew it would get me to heaven. Cause I want to get right with God. Yes, you know you got to get right with God.” It was a regular hootenanny filled with feverish clapping and hectic chanting. I really felt like I was smack dab in the middle of an Appalachian Pentecostal revival meeting. I think I might have even been saved, or at least Baptized, by that fanatical song. The dueling roadhouse guitars that Escovedo and Doug Pettibone executed sounded awesome. I only wish it hadn’t taken all night to gather this energy from the crowd. It’s times like these that remind me why I hate the confines of seats a theater show provides. Her momentum continued with “Joy” (Car Wheels on a Gravel Road), but came 2 hours too late. I’m not sure if it was the theater setting or simply the people in it (Harrisburg can be a pretty uptight place), but I would’ve liked to see a little more spirit and intensity from both the singer and the audience. She mentioned she had recently performed at SXSW and I’ve known musicians who need at least a week to recover from all that excitement. Therefore, I imagine a better place to see a Lucinda Williams show is outside, on the festival circuit. Being surrounded by the sun, open spaces, and other like-minded roots artists and fans, I’m sure would make for a great show. Meanwhile, Harrisburg will just have to settle for a good one.

2006 Wiener Awards

As you may or may not know, I enjoy calling people or things I do not care for wieners. Since the new year is approaching fast, it’s always fun to take a look back on the past year to see what transpired. The inaugural awards (1st annual is a very wiener thing to say) will be given in several categories of my choosing. Of course, you can disagree all you want and that is your right as an American. However, if you are not an American then go fight England for your right to say what you want. If you are English, go oppress the Scots, Irish, Welsh, Indians, or other ethnic group to continue your right to say what you want. And now...the alphabetical presentation of the 2006 Weiner Awards.

Comedy: This is a hard category to pick. Comedy is a serious business and it pains my heart to see no-talent, hack comedians labeled as brilliant innovators and lovingly adored by the general public. Our Founding Fathers knew the general public was an ignorant mass and that’s why they created the electrical college for Presidential elections. Fortunately, the Weiner Awards are here to put comedy challenged comedians in their place (by not mentioning them further in association with the word comedy). So, before we move on to what you may term ‘mountains of negativity’ flowing from the following paragraphs, I’m going to give out a Big Weiner Award for someone doing something great in the world of comedy. This is an inspirational award, so I’m going to give it to someone truly inspiring. I’d like to present the Big Weiner Award for comedy to………Norm MacDonald. He did actually put out a sketch comedy CD this year, so he does qualify, but it wasn’t that great. Wait, wait, wait. I’m forgetting his appearance on The Daily Show shortly after the untimely death of The Crocodile Hunter. That was genius and not very offensive when it gets down to it.

Film: Movie executives who could not tell the difference between Snakes on a Plane internet hype and Borat internet hype. The moment anyone heard of Snakes on a Plane they assumed it was a joke. Absurd scary plot? Check. Cheesy animation? Check. Lesbians going at it in an airplane bathroom? Check. And...obviously...a must for 90% of films - Samuel L. Jackson. Checkmate! Borat, on the other hand, had a built in devoted base of fans from Da Ali G Show who could not wait for the movie to appear. Since the movie "Ali G in Da House" was a scripted affair and nothing like the TV show, fans were anxious to see how Borat adapted to the big screen…oh...and anti-Semitism sells. Another big factor in Borat’s success was his incessant appearances on television, radio, and anything else to promote the movie. Still, most people hardly knew anything about Borat and probably still don't. On opening weekend I bought tickets way in advance, showed up more than 30 minutes before the stated show time (which is itself 20+ minutes before the movie actually starts), and still had to sit in the 5th row from the front. Borat’s success can be attributed to a rabid fan base, great word of mouth, and most importantly, the constant shit-stream of “comedies” coming out of Hollywood which only enhanced the actual hilarity of this movie. While Borat was not the movie I hoped it would be, it contained several laugh out loud scenes and was overall the best comedy to come out in theaters in several years.

Music: Kanye West. What a baby. Look up award show antics/obnoxious bitching in the dictionary and you will get a picture of this guy. By the way, shouldn’t Late Registration come before College Dropout? And how can he claim Graduation (due spring 2007) after dropping out? Back to the point, he is clearly the best musician in the history of the universe (and any other parallel universes). Not to get overly hyperbolic, but his claims and behavior are worthy of the ’06 Weiner in Music. When it came down to it, I had to give him a Weiner because let’s face it, if I did not then these awards lose credibility. Take that MTV Europe Video Music Awards appearance. In case you didn’t catch that last reference, West proclaimed that if his video for “Touch the Sky” did not win at the MTV Europe show then, you guessed it, “this award show loses all credibility.” The best part of the show was when his video did not win. Well, the BEST part was slightly after that, when the winner was on stage. West crashed the stage and wondered out loud how his video could lose since it cost 1 million dollars to make, had Pamela Anderson in it, and he “went jumping across canyons and shit.” Even though he said he didn’t see the winning video, he knew his was better.















Kanye West does not care about George W. Bush

Was that just a singular moment where he lost his temper in a fit of passion? Maybe, but this character has a history of displaying exactly how much sand is wedged in his vagina. In 2004 at the American Music Awards he said, "I was the best new artist (despite not winning that award) this year," and "I got 10 Grammy nominations, and won three — even if I should have won all 10.” Modesty aside, Kanye can proudly put this award right up on the empty shelf space he is saving for when he finally does win every award on the planet. I wonder if Stockholm is listening, because not only is he making music, he is bridging the gap between gays and straights. “West says he changed his ways, though, when he learned one of his cousins was gay. ‘It was kind of like a turning point when I was like, ‘Yo, this is my cousin. I love him and I’ve been discriminating against gays.” Thank goodness he is just as well spoken when he has time to compose his remarks as when he says them off the cuff. Here's to many more award show defeats for Mr. West so that we get to see his true nature.

Politics: Pick your own. Everyone feels differently about this topic and I’m rather tired of explaining why both major political parties suck. Anyway, I suppose I have to give it out, so this year the winner is The American Public excluding myself and a few others. Politics, politically correct, what’s the difference anymore? Poor Michael Richards is lambasted for his use of the word n-i-g-g-e-r, but nothing is done about Rosie O’Donnell’s use of the phrase “ching chong.” You probably didn’t even know she used it. Her full quote was

“You know, you can imagine in China it's like `ching chong, ching chong chong, Danny DeVito, ching chong chong chong, drunk, "The View," ching chong.”

Great TV, even though I’m pretty sure China wouldn’t allow an American broadcast of women talking on their airwaves. Sexist Policy? Maybe. Smart? Yes. Regardless, Americans do have a long and bumpy history with slavery and the n-word (again that’s nigger for those that missed it the first time), but we also have a history with the Chinese. The short version goes like this. Thanks for building the railroads, get the hell out. You can learn more by consulting your set of encyclopedias under the heading Chinese Exclusion Act (1882). Thank goodness it was quickly repealed by 1943. Anyway, Rosie O’Donnell did apologize, in fact

“she told the audience: 'To say ching chong to someone is very offensive, and some Asian people have told me it's as bad as the n-word. Which I was like, `Really? I didn't know that.”

Really, how could she have known saying ‘ching chong’ would be offensive to Asians? Think of the odds on that one. Another bone of contention is that she said "ching chong" in her apology. Michael Richards COULDN'T apologize by saying the n-word again or else he might have been lynched. There's irony for you. Ok, let’s just put an addendum on the award that says “and specifically to Rosie O’Donnell.” Back to this n*****/c**** c**** debate. Yes, Americans (of all colors) have a hard time deciding what is appropriate and how to react to someone that steps over the line. It’s not a black and white issue, but somewhere in between and comparable to a mulatto colored topic. In the end, it is not fair to arbitrarily strip a man of all his dignity over the misguided use of the word, while another individual spouts an equally offensive word on a daytime talk show and is not even slapped on the wrist. America certainly is indivisible with justice for some.

*Special note to Rosie. If you are going to be controversial, stick to one person, not an entire ethnic group. Oh, and we know you’re a lesbian, but did this guy know he was gay? That wasn't very nice either, Mr. O'Donnell.

He's already brought sexy back

Sports: Urban Meyer/NCAA higher ups/some Coach’s Poll/AP Poll(you’re still important to someone, wieners)/Harris Poll voters. Lloyd Carr said it best: “My statement is that I don't think they (Florida Gators) would have moved ahead of us if USC had won their game(vs. UCLA).” Tom Brady also contributed a nice phrase in defending the fact that Michigan did not win their conference. If conference champions HAD to play for the National Championship then Florida should go, but “that's not the way the BCS works. It is supposed to be the two best teams in college football.” It works entirely on the Polls and the computers. As a result, the two best teams should go and not necessarily teams from different conferences. I know, I know, Florida beat the stuffing out of Div. 1-AA Western Carolina 62-0 to end WCU's season with a final record of 2-9 (1 win over a 1-AA school). Still, Florida averaged a huge +6.88 margin in conference games including a 6 point victory over Vandy. Michigan barely beat Vanderbilt by 20 points and averaged a +13.625 in conference games. It might seem like I’m just upset and you would be right, but that’s what America is all about. You get upset, figure out what you want, and then riot to get it. Americans all over the country need to take down the NCAA for their horrible treatment of nearly every controversial subject, not just this one.

Technology: Sony, for including a blu-ray player on the PS3. Despite the enormous enthusiasm from people to convert their nearly complete DVD collections into BluRay discs, Sony has taken a hit for their inclusion of the BluRay player on the PS3. The feature has also included a $150-200 mark up on the price of the PS3. Also, the system might not have had so many delays in production if this feature was not included. However, I’m glad BluRay discs of movies were available for purchase before the BluRay player was, because that’s exactly the kind of forward thinking anticipation I want when impulse buying a movie. Sony may want to consider adding a Betamax player to the PS4.

Television: Steve Carell for The Office. I almost want to blame Ricky Gervais, but these awards will focus on American wieners (pay no attention to the award immediately above this one). I’ve seen many, many episodes of this series and I like the entire cast, save for Carell. Can you believe how he made those borderline racist/insensitive/etc. remarks in front of a black man/handicapped guy, etc.? That is so funny and what a delivery!!! I really believe he is a moronic boss that is not in touch with the common employee. Hysterical good times, chum. I almost wish they went in a direction more like the original British version that doesn’t worry about being funny, at all. Like all categories, there was stiff competition, but the overwhelming popularity of this show sealed the deal for Steve Carell.

P.S. My office is exactly like the show.

Word: Every year it seems one word gets overused, abused, or otherwise falls afoul of my vocabulary. This word has bugged me for years and so gets the inaugural Weiner Award. Eclectic. Yes, inevitably the word shows up when people describe their taste in music, i.e. the selection on their IPod. You mean you don’t listen to only Rap, or Country, or The Beatles? Shocking, because I will only listen to The Presidents of the United States of America. I wish they would put out more stuff, but what can I do? I don’t want to stereotype a whole group of people (actually I do), but college age and 20-something assholes tend to use the word to show that they have a great vocabulary. Fine, I would just like to say that I am impressed and believe you are really really REALLY smart and you don’t have to use the word ever again.

People that dress like this are not actually smart.

Young Female Celebrity Famous for being Famous: As usual (remember last year’s award) this always goes down to the wire. Fortunately, one filly came through at the end. Lindsay Lohan. Nicole Richie gave her a late season run for her money, but the fallout from her DUI won’t really count until next year. On the plus side, she is setting herself up for a great year. Back to LiLo, she really hasn’t done anything, for the purposes of the upcoming joke, since The Parent Trap, except grow breasts and turn 18. Earlier in the year, LiLo got caught on camera not wearing underwear. And, until a few weeks ago, that would have been enough to win, but Britney came charging hard in the final weeks to close the gap (between her and Lindsay, not the one between her legs). However, our girl Ms. Lohan dug down deep and pulled out a winner just before the season ended…Alcoholics Anonymous. I really didn’t want to post her full quote, but it’s just too damn good. (The best parts are underlined)

"I've been going to AA, for a year by the way. It's no one's business. That's why it's anonymous! I haven't had a drink in seven days. Or anything. I'm not even legal, so why would I? I don't drink when I go to clubs. I drink with my friends at home, but there's no need to. I feel better not drinking. It's more fun. I just wanted to, like, find a balance. I was too caught up. I was like going out just to get it out of my system. I was going out too much and I knew that, and I have more to live for than that."

Specifically, the best part is when she says she has “been going to AA, for a year” and she hasn’t “had a drink in seven days.” Or maybe it's when she says she hasn't had a drink in seven days, but why would she since she's underage. Either way, she's well on her way to sobriety. I want to wish her best of luck in the new year and success in the ’07 campaign.

She often describes herself as 'classy'

Well children, that wraps up the 2006 Weiner Awards. I know, I know, we had some fun at the expense of others, but that's really what people of varying degrees of fame are for in this day and age. Congrats to all of our winners, you can pick up your award in person at the SixTalkingHeads home office.

The Next Band Asked Me To Read This...

Tenacious D: Concert and Movie Review


The Concert:

Part I The Opener

On the evening of November 29th, 2006 the band known as Tenacious D performed at the Tweeter Center in Camden, New Jersey. Filling a full two thirds of the venue, the band set out to cement their status as the greatest band of all time. However, before moving on to the meat of the show, we have to start with the potatoes. Comedian Neil Hamburger opened for The D and as soon as he came on stage the yelling started…from the audience. Hamburger responded with a fierce invective aimed at a few audience members in the front rows. The give and take flew freely along with rather profane language going both ways. While his Tony Clifton-esque act went over exactly the way it was supposed to, his jokes missed more often than they hit. However, he did connect squarely on the chin with the audience on one occasion, managing to shut them up when he delivered the punch line to this joke:

Why did God send Terri Schiavo to Hell? (answer at end of the column)

Overall, Hamburger was a great opener in that he provided a punching bag for the crowd and wound them up to ready themselves for The D.

Part II: The First Act

Everyone knows The D rock hard as an acoustic band. Opening the show the way their debut album opened, Kielbasa got the crowd pumped to hear more hard rocking and tasty lyrics. The theatrics on display, combined with the music of course, provided for a great show. Early on, the sounds of the Flash Gordon theme song, (a Queen original and theme of the great 1980 movie) graced the ears of the audience. What a special show this was to be. The stage was a replica of KG’s living room and a few songs into the set in walks number 1 D fan, Lee. He made himself at home and delivered what appeared to be a smoking apparatus to KG. Lee also brought out a Saxaboom, which JB played perfectly. After a puff, or two, the show resumed and Lee exited the premises. Not long afterwards JB tried to get KG to go “electric” and he brought an electric guitar on stage. Upon plugging it in, they were electrocuted and wound up, via video segment, in a fiery, smelly, red place. You don’t know it is hell for sure Jables proclaimed, because "who has gone there and come back and really knows what it’s like”?

Part III: The Second Act

Wondering around their new home, The D spied a fellow who looked an awful lot like Jesus. After they questioned him about his looks, he revealed he was in fact the anti-Christ. Yes, they were in hell, but that is no reason for The D to stop rocking. In fact, they added an electric guitar, bass, and drums, enhancing the already formidable rock power of two acoustic guitars. Backed by a trio of Hell’s inhabitants (the anti-Christ, Colonel Sanders, and Charlie Chaplin (turns out he’s gay)) the full band wowed the crowd with various tunes too powerful to write about. All I can manage to spurt out is a mention of the highlight of second half of the concert, a cover of Pinball Wizard by The Who.

Part IV: The Encore

Returning to the stage, our heroes played Fuck Her Gently and then perhaps their most famous song, Tribute. Rocking hard for the entire concert, KG and JB delivered a monster performance with high energy and the charm we have come to know and love from Tenacious D. Overall, it would not be a stretch to say The D definitely rocked.


Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny

Yes, this movie has a plot. Yes, this movie has great cameos from Amy Poehler and Tim Robbins. Yes, this movie has new songs of hard rocking from Tenacious D. Lastly...this movie has lots of jokes D fans will enjoy. While it is clearly not an epic, big budget affair, it should provide plenty of enjoyment for fans of the band. I direct all of you non-fans to the HBO episodes so that you can get fully endoctrinated into the world of The D before exposing yourself to the magnitude of the movie. You'll thank me later.


Answer: For the sin of sloth.