Book Review: In the Name of Honor - A Memoir

In the Name of Honor: A Memoir by Mukhtar Mai

The first time I was introduced to an honor crime was in an anthropology class my freshman year of college. The crime took place in Iran and involved a girl in her mid-teens. She was accused of raising her head and making eye contact with a man. Less than 24 hours later, she was dead; stoned to death by over thirty villagers. I was shocked and appalled! How in the 21st century could these medieval practices still be tolerated? Little did I know, that was only the beginning. Over the next two hours, dozens of more brutalities were described. These women were beaten, tortured, disfigured, raped, and killed for crimes which included dressing “inappropriately”, partaking in “forbidden” relationships, and looking at someone the “wrong” way. I saw pictures, watched videos, and listened to personal accounts. I felt nauseous… disgusted…and powerless.

In the Name of Honor: A Memoir rekindled those disturbed feelings. This narrative is a reminder that these atrocities continue throughout the world on a daily basis. This is the story of a single event so gruesome, it should have killed its victim. But instead of succumbing to societal expectations, this author fought back. Her story is one of suffering and despair, but also courage, dignity and hope. Thankfully, in the spirit of a happy ending, it proves that one person really is capable of impacting this world.

In 2002, Mukhtar Mai was a 28-year-old woman living in the Meerwala village in the Punjab providence of Pakistan. Like most Muslim women in this feudal farming community, Mukhtar never learned to read or write. Although divorced, Mukhtar was a peaceful, honorable woman who taught the Koran (through memory and recitation) to the village children. She was as respected as a woman in her position could be.

On a late June day, Mukhtar’s 12-year-old brother was falsely accused of talking to a daughter from a powerful caste. In a matter of hours, the accusations against the young boy progressed from talking, to stealing the family’s sugar cane, to raping the woman. Mukhtar’s family begged her (her tribal justice council orders her) to visit the neighboring Mastoi clan and ask for forgiveness. Her brother has been in jail for nearly 12 hours, and she is his only hope. She faithfully agrees and travels to her neighbors. Instead of understanding, she is met with pistols, rifles, and men filled with hatred and contempt in their eyes. In front of hundreds of bystanders she is dragged through the street and locked in a stable. She is repeatedly gang-raped by four men (all Mastois) and then tossed out on the street, naked, alone, and shamed.

These men did not kill her. They did not have to. In rural Pakistan, women so defiled are expected to commit suicide. They are no longer pure in the eyes of men, and are a source of shame to their family. For days, Mukhtar contemplates how she will kill herself. Only the watchful eye of her caring mother prevents her suicide. Then, as anger for what has been done to her and her younger brother begins to consume her, Mukhtar becomes empowered. She no longer feels shame for what has been done to her, only hatred for her attackers. Although it has never been attempted before in her village, she decides to seek justice by pressing charges. This is an extreme decision for a woman in her village, where as Mukhtar says:

“A woman is nothing more than an object of exchange from birth to marriage… Men have the monopoly on vengeance, which passes through violence inflicted on women… Before I lived in absolute submission; now, my rebellion will be equally relentless.”

With no education and little support from her village, she battles corrupt officers, lying testimonies, and endless threats on her life. After numerous setbacks, she finally is victorious and her government begins to change its “blind eye” acceptance of local clan tribal justice, which has meted harsh punishments without any type of judicial protection on women for so-called honor crimes. Her case gained international notoriety and NGOs from all over the world pledge their support.

In a matter of months, Mukhtar transformed from a submissive Islamic peasant woman to an outspoken women’s activist. With money from her settlement, she opens the first school in her village, the Mukhtar Mai School for Girls (Mukhtar means “respected big sister”). After the first year, over 300 children, both boys and girls are enrolled. Children from the Mastoi clan are even invited to attend. Her goal is to teach literacy to young girls so they are not powerless and develop tolerance and respect in young boys. Five years later, her school is still growing. She has employed more teachers and purchased livestock in an attempt to make the school self-sustaining. She travels the world, acting as an ambassador for human rights, but always returns back to her village in Meerwala.

This book is translated first from Mukhtar’s native language into French, and then into English. It is written in casual speaking style, and at first I was concerned that its message might be lost in the translation. But that is not the case with this 170 page narrative. The simplicity of the writing makes it all that more accessible for people of all walks of life. Hatred is Hatred, Violence is Violence, Strength is Strength, and Love is Love...no matter how you word it. All of which strongly resonate with the reader. I highly recommend committing a few hours to reading, In the Name of Honor: A Memoir. Mukhtar Mai’s story, both heartbreaking and inspirational, deserves to be heard.