Casino Royale: A Review with Spoilers

I cannot say I have seen a large portion of the Bond canon, but from what I’ve seen they are cheesy yet somehow not over the top. They are packed with ridiculous storylines and explosions yet somehow...still believable. Casino Royale tries to continues with that tradition, but manages to fall short. A prime example can be found in the opening sequence, which features amazing aerial displays of running and jumping that are in fact are real. The problem, is that the sequences actually seem very fake. While past Bonds passed off fake stunts as real, this Bond passes off a real stunt as real, but the stunt is so unbelievable it throws off the whole Bond dynamic.

I’ll start with the bad news (and there is plenty of it). For you nitpickers out there (or people that care about continuity), this is supposed to the "first" Bond. This is where Bond gets his 007 designation and thus his adventures can begin...but what will these adventures involve? Judy Dench (who incidentally is terrible at everything) laments about how she misses the Cold War. Come again? Are we to believe that James Bond, the same James Bond that defeated the menace of international communism time and time again, gets his 007 moniker AFTER the Cold War ends? Someone has explained that Bond is a “timeless” character, but frankly that is just a bunch of nonsense. I don’t care if the teen market doesn't know what the Soviet Union was, screw them for their ignorance and have Bond punch a KGB agent - not some terrorist-supporting weapons dealer.

Daniel Craig’s Bond is a relative novice to the world of international espionage and changes were made to the character to reflect this. That does not mean that Bond cannot get any (and every) pretty face he encounters. What it means is that he drives a Ford (almost as stylish as an Aston Martin) and does not have an elaborate introduction to new technological features via Q. The other big problem with this Bond is the way he orders a martini. When asked how he would like his signature drink Bond replies with an uncharacteristic “Do I look like I give a damn!?” Who is this man?

Aside from the chronological gaffes, there are other problems with the plot. For starters, the Bond villain is an asthmatic math nerd. He doesn't exactly inspire terror in the hearts of the audience with a dastardly plan...he is in fact trying to save his ass with a high stakes poker game at the Casino Royale. Honestly, I could not decide if the African War Lord/General terrorist or the math nerd was the villain…until Bond killed the warlord.

The last big drain on my patience was the audience. I would hope the audience you view the movie with is much different than the one I had. It is acceptable NOT to laugh at the cheesy jokes. They are not very funny (nor are they intended to be), but they do add a nice light element to the film...except when people poop their pants laughing at them. Such a response ruins the whole atmosphere of the movie. One such "joke" occured when Bond and the Bond girl exchanged some dialogue about how much “Money” Bond is worth to which he replies “every Penny.” Hold on...I think I’ve got this one figured out…isn’t there a recurring character named Moneypenny? Yes, except she is not in this movie.

While the movie has many drawbacks, it does have a few positives. Three, to be precise...

Daniel Craig is great as James Bond. A blonde Bond? I really didn't even notice his hair color most of the time due to all the explosions taking place around him. Craig had enough charisma to shift between his suave lady killing style and the actual killing of ladies and men, as needed. Surprisingly, the biggest question going into the movie was whether Craig could pull it off. I was amazed that he did with all the terrible inclusions the film had, but I give him his props for a commendable performance.

The last two good things about this movie come as a pair...

I searched for a "good" picture of Eva Green’s cleavage, but I could not find one. It was quite an exhaustive search too. You’d think the studio would hype them up. She’s a good Bond girl...but I don't think she will be in any more films. Wink, Wink.

Overall, Casino Royale was entertaining and Craig did a fantastic job. While the movie does drag on and you’re never quite sure when it will end, it is worth seeing…at least as a rental without the audience ruining the mood.