Twenty-seven

This past week I reached a milestone in my life. No, I did not get married, purchase a house, or adopt a llama. It was an event of greater magnitude. On Wednesday, March 7th, I celebrated my twenty-seventh birthday. Twenty-seven. There I said it. And damn did it feel good! While this may seem trivial to some, I think it’s quite an accomplishment. Not because I’ve overcome a rare terminal childhood illness or am celebrating five years sobriety (sorry but my life doesn’t exactly constitute a Lifetime movie), but because more than ever before, I am content with who I am.

“Who is that, B?” Why, I’m glad you asked. I am a woman with no career, no house, no husband, no children, and no consistent flow of income. I’ll pause for a second, allow you to absorb the initial shock, and give you time to shut your gaping mouth. Some in their late-twenties may view this as a travesty. I on the other hand think it is a blessing! My aunt calls it the Peter Pan syndrome, but I just don’t think I am ready for the commitments and obligations involved in the above rites of passage.

I can’t pinpoint exactly who it was that told women that in order to succeed in life you should, “find a nice man, settle down, and raise a family.” Wait, that might have been my 7th grade home-ec teacher…and that was only fifteen years ago! But in my modern world this mentality does not apply. As I talk to more people, I’m learning they too are skirting society’s traditional standards.

I don’t feel I have to justify my life so much to my friends. They get it. By “it,” I mean my choice to live an independent and carefree lifestyle. Thankfully, even my parents get it. They are surprisingly supportive of my rather laidback philosophy on life. But it is older generations and other associates that have “special expectations” for me (let’s face it, in some cultures I could be a grandmother by now).

For example: Two weeks ago, I ran into an old classmate’s mother. She talked ad nauseam about her daughter, who is now a fifth-grade school teacher, is married, and has two kids. “Oh that’s great,” I lied, thinking I can’t imagine anyone I’d rather not be. The mother beamed. Then she surreptitiously glanced at my left hand, paused, and as if by obligation asked if I had any children yet. “No,” I replied, knowing she was secretly relieved I had not conceived a child out of wedlock. I offered no additional information. “Oh, well then, you’re seeing someone?” “Nope,” was my nonchalant response. “How old are you (she knows how old I am – the same age as her daughter)? Oh you’ve got a few more years. But you better not dawdle…Good luck with that,” she yelled back as she headed off to her AA meeting. Okay, that last part I’m making up, but I speculate that’s where she was headed. Can you believe people still used the word dawdle? And good luck with what, my reproductive organs or my quest to find a man who will marry me before it’s too late? Not once, did this woman inquire into what other things were going on in my life. Her one track mind said BABY and HUSBAND. See the idiots I am subject to as a single woman approaching (dare I say it) thirty.


But back to feeling good about myself…back to turning twenty-seven. In my nine years since leaving high school, I think I’ve got a lot to be proud of. I’ve graduated from college. I’ve pursued three (albeit short lived) careers. I’ve volunteered countless hours to worthy organizations. My debts consist of little more than a few thousand dollars in college loans. I’ve traveled the world. I’ve made some amazing lifelong friends. But most importantly, I’ve spent this time discovering WHAT I WANT OUT OF LIFE, not what others expect out of my life. So now, after acquiring twenty-seven years of infinite wisdom (and at the risk of sounding like a self-help book), I’m going to share some important lessons I’ve learned about myself and the world around me:

1. I don’t want to sit in an office for 8 hours a day, no matter what the pay.
2. Money sucks. Don’t allow it to control you. At the end of the day it’s only paper.
3. Marriage is a completely overrated and unnecessary archaic institution (unless of course your goal is citizenship, in which case it is perfectly acceptable). Although I haven’t experienced it, I’ve witnessed that taking that vow does not guarantee you will not cheat on, abandon, or fall out of love with your spouse. It only means you will be given some kitchen appliances that for the next eight years will collect dust in your basement. Living in sin is the way to go!
4. Families are important. Absolutely. But sometimes you will meet people who you feel so undeniably close to you cannot help but consider them relatives. Thus, defying the phrase, “blood is thicker than water.”
5. Mother nature has created some astounding works of art. Take time to relish her canvasses.
6. Don’t waste time and energy in a job or relationship just for the sake of comfort. People die every second. Wouldn’t you like to know your final moments were not in vain?
7. I am a dog person…who likes other dog people.
8. Challenge yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally.
9. Don’t underestimate the power of a warm smile, sincere laugh, or gentle touch.
10. Solitude is a special thing. Know when to take it and when to give it.
11. Secret is not a dirty word. No one is entitled to know everything about you.
12. People don’t have to agree with you. It is different individuals with contradicting opinions that make life so interesting. How boring would the world be if everyone thought like you?
    

Don’t misunderstand me, by no means am I claiming to have all the answers. In fact, I invite you to enlighten me with what you’ve discovered about life. My goal is only to convey that I think it is completely natural not to know what the future holds, or to even want to predict it. So be comfortable with who you are in the present, be that a father, wife, home owner, accountant, harpist, nomad, etc. If you are not, you might spend the rest of your life searching for the perfect destination only to learn there is no such thing.