Cause You Can’t See Tits On The Radio
So sings the bedazzling Ana Matronic. Which, I found out at the Electric Factory on Friday night, is all the more reason to attend a Scissor Sisters concert. Cause you can see tits at their show…lots of them. In what seems to be a decade of never ending insipid pretentious cooler-than-thou indie rock music, this band offers a refreshing combination of sex appeal, sass, glamour and talent. With a performance that proved to be half burlesque/half soft-core porn, I came out feeling I had experienced something truly phenomenal.
If you've never heard of the Scissor Sisters, they are a five piece band from New York City who sound like a combination of David Bowie (circa ‘72), Village People, The Darkness, and !!!. Not surprisingly, they proclaim Elton John as their godfather of soul. Surprisingly, they are not English. You’ve probably heard the catchy Take Your Momma Out single (from their 2004 eponymous album) and the ironic anti-dance song I Don’t Feel Like Dancing (from the more recent Ta-Dah) on various radio or muzak stations. The music is full of pulsing drumbeats, sexy bass lines, cheesy keyboards and salacious lyrics. Singer/bootyshaker, Jake Shears, is a flamboyant falsetto who would give Elvis a run for his money in any hip shaking contest. As the only female in the band, alluring singer Ana Matronic defines the word sex pot. She is both charismatic and raunchy in a way I only wish I could emulate.
Although the concert was not sold out, the place was chockablock. It took two songs before my friend and I managed to purchase a drink and acquire a semi-spacious dance spot upstairs. We settled on a step near the wet bar which allowed full view of the stage and a close up on one of the large screens. We were finally ready to cut a rug. As one might expect from a band whose name comes from a lesbian sex act, the crowd had a myriad of: homo, bi and asexuals, drag queens, transvestites and even the odd heterosexual (they can usually be spotted by their meek apparel). People of all ages and races were represented. WARNING: One should be completely comfortable with their sexuality when attending one of these gigs. If you are not, it can be a potentially over stimulating and downright shocking environment. But if you are “gay friendly,” you will almost always be welcomed with open arms. I find these sorts of shows the most fun because everyone seems to check their inhibitions at the door allowing for a carpe diem sort of experience. The booze, boobs, and blow were out in full force this night. My friend and I were discussing how it must be an unspoken rule that if you are successful at sneaking narcotics into the club, then you most certainly are permitted to partake in them…even if it is in a conspicuous spot two feet on my left. Surrounding me was a man with a giant red light-up cowboy hat, another with disco ball bling that would put Flavor Flav to shame, a woman wearing a most fabulous hot pink bustier that appeared to be quite a breathing inhibitor and lastly, a man wearing a pair of leopard-print cowboy chaps…and little else. Throw in a few more feathers, leather, lace and sequence, and that completes the fashion menagerie. With the exception of some cleavage, my outfit of a miniskirt, fishnets, and silver knee-high boots was pretty tame in comparison.
Between stretches of vivacious dance songs, we were treated to verbal accounts of their most recent tour in Australia. One of which involved a mother complaining of profanity used at a show. I couldn’t help wonder if that expletive took place before or after Jake and Ana’s five minute pseudo-copulation performance and where it fell in relation to the pro clubdrugs chant. “If you see some little pink pills on the floor, feel free to pick them up and put them in your mouth. I seem to have misplaced a few tonight” were Ana’s exact words. The multiple and elaborate costume changes also added to the atmosphere. They usually took place on stage, hence the tits. My personal favorite was Jake’s gaudy silver and gold sequence hot pants suit, complete with tube socks and carpenter boots. Bassist, Babydaddy, described him as “the gay lovechild of Liberace and the Crocodile Hunter.” Amen! The infectious dance songs included She’s My Man, Kiss You Off, Filthy Gorgeous, Tits on the Radio, Pink Floyd’s Comfortably Numb and more. There were even a few sappy ballads thrown in for good measure (and potty breaks) like Might Tell You Tonight and Land of a Thousand Words.
My only complaint of the evening was that their set was too short, just shy of 2 hours. I easily had another 3 hours of energy to expel! But this performance was enough to convert any doubters of the Scissor Sisters abilities. Not only can they produce trashy and boisterous butt-shaking albums; but they can also deliver one hell of a live dance party. So for anyone suffering from the winter doldrums, this doctor highly recommends a strong dose of the SS. It is just the remedy needed to make you feel alive again! So the next time they come to Philly be sure to attend. I guarantee it will be a night to remember!
If you've never heard of the Scissor Sisters, they are a five piece band from New York City who sound like a combination of David Bowie (circa ‘72), Village People, The Darkness, and !!!. Not surprisingly, they proclaim Elton John as their godfather of soul. Surprisingly, they are not English. You’ve probably heard the catchy Take Your Momma Out single (from their 2004 eponymous album) and the ironic anti-dance song I Don’t Feel Like Dancing (from the more recent Ta-Dah) on various radio or muzak stations. The music is full of pulsing drumbeats, sexy bass lines, cheesy keyboards and salacious lyrics. Singer/bootyshaker, Jake Shears, is a flamboyant falsetto who would give Elvis a run for his money in any hip shaking contest. As the only female in the band, alluring singer Ana Matronic defines the word sex pot. She is both charismatic and raunchy in a way I only wish I could emulate.
Although the concert was not sold out, the place was chockablock. It took two songs before my friend and I managed to purchase a drink and acquire a semi-spacious dance spot upstairs. We settled on a step near the wet bar which allowed full view of the stage and a close up on one of the large screens. We were finally ready to cut a rug. As one might expect from a band whose name comes from a lesbian sex act, the crowd had a myriad of: homo, bi and asexuals, drag queens, transvestites and even the odd heterosexual (they can usually be spotted by their meek apparel). People of all ages and races were represented. WARNING: One should be completely comfortable with their sexuality when attending one of these gigs. If you are not, it can be a potentially over stimulating and downright shocking environment. But if you are “gay friendly,” you will almost always be welcomed with open arms. I find these sorts of shows the most fun because everyone seems to check their inhibitions at the door allowing for a carpe diem sort of experience. The booze, boobs, and blow were out in full force this night. My friend and I were discussing how it must be an unspoken rule that if you are successful at sneaking narcotics into the club, then you most certainly are permitted to partake in them…even if it is in a conspicuous spot two feet on my left. Surrounding me was a man with a giant red light-up cowboy hat, another with disco ball bling that would put Flavor Flav to shame, a woman wearing a most fabulous hot pink bustier that appeared to be quite a breathing inhibitor and lastly, a man wearing a pair of leopard-print cowboy chaps…and little else. Throw in a few more feathers, leather, lace and sequence, and that completes the fashion menagerie. With the exception of some cleavage, my outfit of a miniskirt, fishnets, and silver knee-high boots was pretty tame in comparison.
Between stretches of vivacious dance songs, we were treated to verbal accounts of their most recent tour in Australia. One of which involved a mother complaining of profanity used at a show. I couldn’t help wonder if that expletive took place before or after Jake and Ana’s five minute pseudo-copulation performance and where it fell in relation to the pro clubdrugs chant. “If you see some little pink pills on the floor, feel free to pick them up and put them in your mouth. I seem to have misplaced a few tonight” were Ana’s exact words. The multiple and elaborate costume changes also added to the atmosphere. They usually took place on stage, hence the tits. My personal favorite was Jake’s gaudy silver and gold sequence hot pants suit, complete with tube socks and carpenter boots. Bassist, Babydaddy, described him as “the gay lovechild of Liberace and the Crocodile Hunter.” Amen! The infectious dance songs included She’s My Man, Kiss You Off, Filthy Gorgeous, Tits on the Radio, Pink Floyd’s Comfortably Numb and more. There were even a few sappy ballads thrown in for good measure (and potty breaks) like Might Tell You Tonight and Land of a Thousand Words.
My only complaint of the evening was that their set was too short, just shy of 2 hours. I easily had another 3 hours of energy to expel! But this performance was enough to convert any doubters of the Scissor Sisters abilities. Not only can they produce trashy and boisterous butt-shaking albums; but they can also deliver one hell of a live dance party. So for anyone suffering from the winter doldrums, this doctor highly recommends a strong dose of the SS. It is just the remedy needed to make you feel alive again! So the next time they come to Philly be sure to attend. I guarantee it will be a night to remember!
1 comment:
Well written article. Sounds like heaven to a Rocky Horror Picture Show fan.
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