Phirst Pitch of 2007

It was brought to my attention yesterday that there is less than one month left before pitchers and catchers start reporting to the warm regions of the country for spring training. With that realization, I decided it was time to start working on my wish list for the 2007 baseball season. Here’s what I think the upcoming baseball season should bring our way...

• I hope to see Roger Clemens sign with the Boston Red Sox. There is no better story than a ballplayer ending his career where it began. If it doesn’t happen, I hope he retires and goes into the Hall of Fame as a Blue Jay.

• I hope that Barry Bonds remains a free agent until the last day of the regular season. Then, someone can sign him as a DH for the playoffs and he can perform his October vanishing tricks. Hey Barry, maybe you will break a record…for the lowest career batting average in 30 plus playoff games.

• I hope that Bud Selig gets removed as the commissioner of baseball. Bud has made baseball the end-of-the-bat-dribbler of professional sports. The fan base is dwindling, the marketing is pathetic, and the players have lost all respectability because of baseball’s reluctance to address performance enhancement with swift and stern action.

• I hope Derek Jeter takes a year off from the game because I don’t believe in wishing injury upon others. I don’t want Jeter to play because I want the Yankees to become A-Rod’s team and win 130 games. They can still choke in the playoffs, because that’s just what they do. I’ve just had enough with the Yankees being Jeter’s team.

• I hope to see Pat Burrell have a monster year. I’m thinking he’s due to hit .320 with 40hrs and 130rbis. This guy has taken so much flack in Philly over the past few seasons and I’d like to see him shove an MVP award right down everyone’s metaphorical throat.

• I hope that Ryan Howard only gets intentionally walked once a week. It was such a disappointment that he didn’t get to swing the bat last September. He has the ability to hit 80 homeruns in a season. If he does get walked more than once a week, I would like to change my last wish and see Burrell hit .340 with 55hrs and 170rbis.

• I hope to see Ichiro Suzuki hit .400. How can you not root for this guy? He’s got one of the quickest bats ever, unbelievable body control, and outstanding speed. If anyone is going to do it, he should be the one. He can take that to the bank along with his single-season hits record and start building a real push for the Hall of Fame.

• I hope that Ken Griffey Jr plays a full season this year. Junior hasn’t played 140 plus games since 2000. The Kid had a chance to break Hank Aaron’s record, legitimately, by this point in his career. I think now all we can hope for is that he gets to 600.

• I hope that J.D Drew is the American League MVP. Drew is another guy who’s flashed his talent at us briefly each season before ending up on the DL. This year he has alot of protection in the lineup around him and the ability to stay fresh by DHing from time to time. I expect to see a monster year from the Sox new rightfielder.

• I hope that the Chicago Cubs realize that the New York Yankees formula for success does not work. Hello? Are the Cubs execs watching what is happening to the Yankees? You can’t buy a championship. Give George a call and ask him about it. He knows.

• I hope that the Washington Nationals move back to Montreal. "Expos" was a much cooler nickname. They also had those marvelous sky blue uniforms. Lastly, remember when the Expos were everyone else’s best farm team? That was awesome.

• I hope that the New York Mets finish in last place. I hope they lose 159 games. Then let them sweep their last series of the year just to show everyone that they can’t even be good at being awful. I like some of the Mets, but their fans are what really get to me. I don’t want the Mets fans to have any sort of satisfaction. Their chants of, “No more streak,” when Chase Utley had his hitting streak stopped was in very poor taste. The fans didn’t boo McGwire when he was chasing Maris in 1998. What happened to their class?

And now for my final wish…

• I’d like to see the Philadelphia Phillies defeat the Minnesota Twins in seven games for the 2007 World Series crown. I’d especially like to see Jamie Moyer pull a Jack Morris in Game 7 of the series to bring a championship to his hometown. Nothing would be sweeter.

Should all my wishes come true, I will let you all borrow my genie in a lamp for a week.

You're welcome in advance.