Textual Frustration?
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For someone who always had a boyfriend (I’m the girl that goes from one boyfriend to the next)….I can’t believe that I’ve been single for 1 year now. Its crazy…I haven’t been single since I was 17 years old. That’s 11 years ago!!! Being single has been a very liberating experience. It’s like a weight has lifted off my shoulders; I can finally become my own person and not have to worry about this “other” person.
So, in my quest (3 year plan – don’t ask) to find a new boyfriend and potentially a husband, I started to think about how I met each one of my former boyfriends:
First one, I met in high school (lasted 2 years);
The second two, I met in college (lasted 4 to 5 years between the two);
And the last one, I met at a cousin’s wedding (3 to 4 years).
We were all at some common place that pulled us together and eventually turned into a lasting relationship. But ever since my last boyfriend and I broke up a year ago, I struggle to meet quality guys that may actually lead to something more. I find that at the age of 28, I’m still getting “played” by guys.
Not to say I don’t meet guys, but those guys are the random ones I meet at happy hour or during a night out. They seem to think I’m just chatting them up, and then throw one night stand proposals my way (remember I’m in the UK). I just don’t know how or where to meet a quality guy at this age. It seems if you don’t meet your one true love at university, you’re pretty much stuck. You may be lucky to meet “the one” at a bar or at work. But you have to admit, outside of the college world, it’s hard (maybe not impossible) to meet someone.
In the age where technology is all around us, the dating world has definitely changed. It started with video dating, and then it was chatting on Internet chat sites, and now it’s online dating (look at Match.com and Yahoo personals). The ways in which we connect and build relationships with each other have changed drastically from the time when writing love letters was a way to show affection.
But have you ever heard of meeting a guy and then having a relationship over text messages? Well if you think it’s weird, I have to admit it happened to me. Here’s my story.
A few months ago I met a younger guy during a night out with some co-workers. Long story short…I got drunk (figures) and ended up kissing him. I didn’t think too much of it, just felt it was a fun night out. “Happy Times” as I like to say. Apparently, I must have given him my phone number because later that week I received a text message from him telling me he had fun that night. I thought the message was sweet and noticed he ended the message with an “X.” I wasn’t sure what the X meant, but apparently in the UK, just like in the states, it means kisses (they don’t use the Os). And I found out later, if you get more than one X after a text message that means the person is really into you.
So a few weeks go by and I realize that we are texting each other daily. It started off with reminiscing about our night out together to talking about how we wanted to see each other again. We weren’t just texting one liners; we were actually having full conversations with each other. I would spend a few hours a day texting him! By week 2, I started to get double Xs and triple Xs after each line. I also started receiving texts late at night and early in the morning asking how I was doing. I actually started having feelings for this guy and I didn’t even talk to him once on the phone! Was I really having a relationship via text messaging?
I told some of my friends about what was happening and they started asking me questions like “are you textually frustrated?”, “are you getting texted (fed) up?”, “Av, just take it one text at a time!”
After the fourth week (and especially after getting made fun of by my friends), I started to think this was kind of weird. The most I ever used text messaging for in the past was to let someone know I was going to be late. I’m not that knowledgeable about ‘predictive text technology,’ that would enable me to have an efficient, full text conversation with someone. Not to mention, my cell phone bill sky rocketed because I didn’t take into account that I would be texting more than 250 times in a month! I knew this needed to end…not only for the sake of my feelings but also for the sake of my pocket book.
However, before I could end this text messaging fling, I started to notice something. By week 3, he started ending his messages with a XX and then in week 4 ending them with just an X. By the end of week 4, I started to get no X after each text message. After seeing the X’s drop from week to week, I soon realized I was getting broken up with via a text message! Soon I received no text messages at all from him. WTF? Not only did I have a 5 week relationship with a guy over text messages, but I got broken up with by that channel of communication as well! Is this the new ‘post it note’ breakup? All I could ask myself was “is this for real?” Did I actually have feelings for this guy and am I actually really upset that I got broken up with. OMG – I was actually upset.
I’m 28 years old and consider myself to have a good head on my shoulders and sound enough judgment not to get caught up with something that isn’t real. I ’m still having trouble believing that I actually got sucked into this text messaging phenomenon. Is this the new thing? Could you have a real relationship with someone via text messaging? Or are people just getting too lazy to have a normal conversation on the phone or in person? Well whatever it is I know that I am not jumping on this band wagon anymore and if it means calling me old fashion in this day and age…then so be it.
For now, I’m going to stick with conventional mechanisms of communication with a potential guy: via a face to face conversation and/or a simple phone call. Hopefully, I don’t become outdated and will still be able to find a guy to have a real relationship with. No texting allowed!
.jpg)
For someone who always had a boyfriend (I’m the girl that goes from one boyfriend to the next)….I can’t believe that I’ve been single for 1 year now. Its crazy…I haven’t been single since I was 17 years old. That’s 11 years ago!!! Being single has been a very liberating experience. It’s like a weight has lifted off my shoulders; I can finally become my own person and not have to worry about this “other” person.
So, in my quest (3 year plan – don’t ask) to find a new boyfriend and potentially a husband, I started to think about how I met each one of my former boyfriends:
First one, I met in high school (lasted 2 years);
The second two, I met in college (lasted 4 to 5 years between the two);
And the last one, I met at a cousin’s wedding (3 to 4 years).
We were all at some common place that pulled us together and eventually turned into a lasting relationship. But ever since my last boyfriend and I broke up a year ago, I struggle to meet quality guys that may actually lead to something more. I find that at the age of 28, I’m still getting “played” by guys.
Not to say I don’t meet guys, but those guys are the random ones I meet at happy hour or during a night out. They seem to think I’m just chatting them up, and then throw one night stand proposals my way (remember I’m in the UK). I just don’t know how or where to meet a quality guy at this age. It seems if you don’t meet your one true love at university, you’re pretty much stuck. You may be lucky to meet “the one” at a bar or at work. But you have to admit, outside of the college world, it’s hard (maybe not impossible) to meet someone.
In the age where technology is all around us, the dating world has definitely changed. It started with video dating, and then it was chatting on Internet chat sites, and now it’s online dating (look at Match.com and Yahoo personals). The ways in which we connect and build relationships with each other have changed drastically from the time when writing love letters was a way to show affection.
But have you ever heard of meeting a guy and then having a relationship over text messages? Well if you think it’s weird, I have to admit it happened to me. Here’s my story.
A few months ago I met a younger guy during a night out with some co-workers. Long story short…I got drunk (figures) and ended up kissing him. I didn’t think too much of it, just felt it was a fun night out. “Happy Times” as I like to say. Apparently, I must have given him my phone number because later that week I received a text message from him telling me he had fun that night. I thought the message was sweet and noticed he ended the message with an “X.” I wasn’t sure what the X meant, but apparently in the UK, just like in the states, it means kisses (they don’t use the Os). And I found out later, if you get more than one X after a text message that means the person is really into you.
So a few weeks go by and I realize that we are texting each other daily. It started off with reminiscing about our night out together to talking about how we wanted to see each other again. We weren’t just texting one liners; we were actually having full conversations with each other. I would spend a few hours a day texting him! By week 2, I started to get double Xs and triple Xs after each line. I also started receiving texts late at night and early in the morning asking how I was doing. I actually started having feelings for this guy and I didn’t even talk to him once on the phone! Was I really having a relationship via text messaging?
I told some of my friends about what was happening and they started asking me questions like “are you textually frustrated?”, “are you getting texted (fed) up?”, “Av, just take it one text at a time!”
After the fourth week (and especially after getting made fun of by my friends), I started to think this was kind of weird. The most I ever used text messaging for in the past was to let someone know I was going to be late. I’m not that knowledgeable about ‘predictive text technology,’ that would enable me to have an efficient, full text conversation with someone. Not to mention, my cell phone bill sky rocketed because I didn’t take into account that I would be texting more than 250 times in a month! I knew this needed to end…not only for the sake of my feelings but also for the sake of my pocket book.
However, before I could end this text messaging fling, I started to notice something. By week 3, he started ending his messages with a XX and then in week 4 ending them with just an X. By the end of week 4, I started to get no X after each text message. After seeing the X’s drop from week to week, I soon realized I was getting broken up with via a text message! Soon I received no text messages at all from him. WTF? Not only did I have a 5 week relationship with a guy over text messages, but I got broken up with by that channel of communication as well! Is this the new ‘post it note’ breakup? All I could ask myself was “is this for real?” Did I actually have feelings for this guy and am I actually really upset that I got broken up with. OMG – I was actually upset.
I’m 28 years old and consider myself to have a good head on my shoulders and sound enough judgment not to get caught up with something that isn’t real. I ’m still having trouble believing that I actually got sucked into this text messaging phenomenon. Is this the new thing? Could you have a real relationship with someone via text messaging? Or are people just getting too lazy to have a normal conversation on the phone or in person? Well whatever it is I know that I am not jumping on this band wagon anymore and if it means calling me old fashion in this day and age…then so be it.
For now, I’m going to stick with conventional mechanisms of communication with a potential guy: via a face to face conversation and/or a simple phone call. Hopefully, I don’t become outdated and will still be able to find a guy to have a real relationship with. No texting allowed!
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